children at the India/Nepal border
A few days ago, Tsering Kunzes and I reached Nepal. After a long 40 hour bus ride from Delhi through vast physiographic regions from the flat fertile lowlands of the terrain plans filled with fields of yellow mustard flowers through the subtropical mountainous forests called the Middle Hills of Nepal upto Pahar valley that holds Nepals capital, Kathmandu. Through this bus ride filled with Indians, Tibetans and Nepalese of Hindu, Buddhist perhaps even Bon faith. You could see the cultural divides with every new district that we entered with the people who surrounded us through the bus ride. I was the only foreigner on both buses which gave me the opportunity to try my hand at Hindi and Nepalese. Behind me, was a girl with a face of an Indian princess, no more than 15 years old and covered with henna up her arms half hidden by the bangles that reached her elbows. Gold jewelry touched every part of her golden tanned body with a diamond stud in the center of her face that let you know it was her first year. She was beautiful and sat behind me the whole way without speaking a word, just a shy smile when I would turn to see her. I didn’t hear a word from her lips for 40 hours. The man sitting next to her had to be at least 30, with a briefcase and suit that let you know of his prominent character. Together they got off the bus a few kilometers after we reached the border of Nepl. As I sat there watching her through the foggy glass window stand by the bags the drivers threw down from the bus, I motioned to my camera. She looked at her husband who wasn’t looking then to me and nodded. I took quick photo to never forget her face – the face of little child who was leaving her home forever mostly likely without choice…
You can see that the situation for women here in Nepal is very different than Ladakh where women and men have virtually all the same rights. Here, boys are strongly favored over girls and woman only truly gan status in traditional society when they bear their husband a son. This is perpetuated by the laws put in place making it legal to take a second wife if the first has not borne a child after ten years. Knowing that over 7000 Nepali women are sold or trafficked every year, most of them children, made it visible when coming here especially when crossing the border. Little girls holding small babies in their arms filled the streets begging for food. I remember Kunzes throwing them a piece of the bread she brought from Ladakh and they all shared it sitting down next to the bus.
With having no plans for the next two months and both Tsering Kunzes and I are taking in everything for the first time here together. Upon first arriving in Kathmandu in the morning we were both a bit shocked at the city- dusty streets filled with traffic like you wouldn’t believe. Polio beggers everywhere and enough pollution in every direction to building a trash pile taller than everest. The mother and children that next to us on the bus took us under their wing and brought us to their home at the Indian Embassy. Upon arriving to the embassy I had to tell the guards I was this mother’s sister-in-law so they would let me in. Because Tsering Kunzes is an India citizen she has had absolutely no trouble with these kinds of things. At the border the vicious military men pulled me from the bus to question everything and I could tell they were angry with the fact I purchased my visa in Delhi rather than at the border as that is how they milk money from the foreigners that passed. One army man began asking me about my personal life and marriage which was completely irrelevant. The mother of the family we sat next to on the bus kept a watchful eye for me and yelled at them. When we arrived at this family’s home, the mother found half of the new saris she bought in Delhi were taken from her suitcase by the army men. She gave us both hot water to wash ourselves and then brought us tea. Her husband is in the foreign service and was also kind to us.
Now, we are in Bodha which is a Tibetan colony that holds one of the largest stupas throughout all of Asia called Bodanath. It has been nice for T Kunzes as she can communicate to most of the Tibetans. Last night we spent the evening walking around the stupa and watching a puja ceremony with lit fires surrounding the stupa take place by a group of monks that played music and presented offerings at the base of the stupa. We also visited the holy site of Swayambunath which was very special to Kunzes. It took us literally two hours to walk up to the stupa with Kunzes spinning every prayer wheel and bowing her head to all of the shrines along the way with the hundreds of monkeys that ran about the temples.
Swayambunath
Something that has me constantly questioning everything I was brought up around back home is genuine kindness that you find here being a woman traveling without a big group behind you. I remember the first time I met Arun outside the Tibetan colony I stay at in Delhi. At first I passed by and just looked down to avoid all confrontation as it can become taxiing to the mind when you have taxi and rickshaw drivers constantly in your face. I was with Tashi trying to figure out a ride to Khan market – the most wealthy area in all of India that is surrounded by all of the embassies. We were bringing the VIS group to an NGO focused on education for Indian youth. Tashi then motioned for Arun to give him a number. “Kit-na hey?” which in Hindi translates into “how much?!” With the reasonable price Arun offered us we happily made a quick relationship. Since then he has shown me all around Delhi and on the last day before leaving I was unable to find this tall man with the gentle face of a Buddhist/Hindu/Muslim (which by the way he is a mixture of all three). On the way up the border, the bus driver handed me his phone and it was Arun. A little strange and creepy I thought at first. How did he know which bus I was on? He was in Nepal and told me he would meet Tsering Kunzes and I in Kathmandu to take us to his sister’s house. In India most people refer to their friend as a sister or brother. I didn’t call at first but when we were sitting around the embassy family’s table with no more words to communicate in I called Arun. He picked us up with his happy welcoming face and brought us to this guesthouse in Boda. Yesterday he brought us back to where the bus initially first dropped us off. I remember feeling so disgusted and unsure about my decision to come to Nepal when I first saw how dirty and busy everything as. After he introduced us to his sister’s family that literally live in the same spot I fell in love with the place. All of this doing, doing, doing for us without accepting anything I offered.
His sister’s children had never spoken with a foreigner before and took me by the hand to bring me a beauty parlor where I got a haircut for 25 Nepali rupees (50 cents-not shocking when about half of the population live below the international poverty line of 1.25 a day)in a salon where the women had fun speaking with Kunzes and laughed in amusement at my attempts to speak Hindi with them. The 14 year old girl, Nisha couldn’t stop asking me questions about what I thought her country, Nepal. Her younger sister, Nikita who was so not well apt to English repeated the question, “ can you please come to my school tomorrow?” Arun relayed the message of our desire to go to a village and teach English in a school to Narayan and Nirma-la, the mother and father. Once we returned to their home I asked the mother if I could take their to girls to their village where their grandparents still live. With no hesitation as to time off from school she gladly agreed and was happy to know her children would have the chance to work on English with Kunzes and I. Today, Narayan and Nirma-la are letting their school know the will be leaving for a while. And tonight Tsering Kunzes and I will go back to their home to stay with them and wake up at 4 am to take a six hour bus ride and potentially a hike to their father’s village. And that being said, Tsering Kunzes and I will hop into a small 8-passenger taxi this afternoon filled with 20 Nepalese to make our way to their home.
-Namaste
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